Sadness like never before

I don't know why I am writing this, other than perhaps I need to get it off of my chest. Chris and I experienced the loss of a child yesterday. I didn't even really have a chance to blog and let everyone know that we were expecting. I guess I should start at the beginning. We found out about 2 months ago that we had been blessed again and would become parents again. We were both so excited. I had been praying for such a long time that God would show us if he wanted us to have another baby. I felt that I was ready, but Chris was not certain. God answered my prayers and Chris and I had agreed together that we would like to try to have another baby if it was God's will. We were ecstatic to find out a couple of months later that we were expecting. I kept things quiet until I was about 8 or 9weeks and then we told several very close friends and of course our girls. The cat was out of the bag then!!! I was about to bust to tell so everyone quickly found out. We agreed that we would tell our family on Christmas day(which is the reason for not blogging about it until now) Stephanie and Katie did an awesome job of not leaking the news to their grandparents. I was so proud of them. Anyway, things were going along great. I was tired, but not at all sick. All in all I felt really good. But I was not alarmed because my previous pregnancies were pretty much the same with just a little nausea with Stephanie. The holidays came and we were so busy and then Christmas arrived and we told our parents. I was 11 weeks pregnant and felt that even though I had not heard the baby's heart beat(I was scheduled to go to the doctor today) everything was fine. I wasn't having any any problems and had never had a miscarriage. I had had 2 healthy pregnancies surely I wouldn't be affected? Everyone was so excited. I was at my mom's on New Years Day and went to the bathroom one last time before leaving to drive home. At this moment my excitement as I knew it came crashing down. I will not give any details other than to say that the timing was terrible and I was unable to see the doctor. I stayed at my mom's until Friday morning and drove to the doctor's office. He had ordered blood work, but was not there to see me. Over the next 3 days, things progressively got worse and I was certain that I was miscarrying. I have never felt such emotional pain before. We celebrated Stephanie's birthday over the weekend and it was bitter sweet. I tried really hard to enjoy it for her sake, but I was crying inside. On Monday, we went to the doctor and were told that our baby had died. We both were expecting it, but it didn't make it any easier. Why am I telling you all of this? Maybe because I want you to know that I am okay...maybe because I want the word to spread so that I don't have to answer the questions a ton of times...maybe I just need to vent. I don't know. I do know that God has a plan and that our baby is in heaven with him. I have no idea how people go thru this that don't have a relationship with our Lord and Saviour. I know that God is going to teach me thru this experience. My heart aches, but I am okay. I know now how painful miscarriage is for a woman. I hope that maybe I will be able to help someone else that is going thru this same pain. I want to say thank you to everyone who has prayed for us, helped us, taken care of our kids, provided a meal for us or whatever else you may have done. We love you. Our God is bigger than any heartache we may ever experience; I know this, believe it and hold onto his truths. My favorite verse is still 'I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me' Phil 4:13. And second to it is Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know that plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I praise my Lord for his wonderful Word.